I am beginning a memoir that will describe my journey from struggling with creativity to the present time when I have now written and published two novels, San Juan Sunrise and The Awakening of Russell Henderson. I originally began writing this in 2108 and posted it on another site I had so tune in and follow along. I will continue the updates.
It was too scary for me to ever share any of the poetry I have written over the years, much less write anything like a novel and to have it published. I never trusted that I wouldn’t be criticized, laughed at or ridiculed for my eforts. There were too many old voices in my head that kept telling me to not take any chances like that. If you don’t ever take that chance, then you will never suffer any humiliation.
I was an only child until I was ten years old and my brother arrived. Until that time, I was the golden boy, doted on by my parents and my many aunts. No matter what I did, I was always praised. It was too easy. But as I grew older, I found I how scary it was when all that praise was not available, especially when I went to an all boys boarding high school where I was a small fish in a big pond. I saw there were many smarter than me, better at sports than me, more assertive than me, more capable that me, and more experienced than me. It was humbling and I learned early on to keep my mouth shut and not take chances.
For example, I had only ever been out of a thirty mile radius of my home except when I was maybe nine or ten and I got to go with my dad and my uncle for a two hour train ride to and from East Dubuque, Illinois into Chicago to see a White Sox baseball game.
To be continued . . .